Full Disclosure

Several months ago, a friend from college asked me to, in essence, tell her all the wonderful stuff about living in England. Tongue in cheek, she told me to leave out all the hard stuff - she didn’t want to hear about culture shock, adjusting to doing things differently, constant rain/grey skies, worrying about finances. I laughed, because in that comment was her recognition that it’s not all “traveling the world glamour” and also because I knew I could write her pages of hard stuff and she’d read every last bit, sympathize with me, and pray for me.

So in the interest of full disclosure, I’m going to admit that moving to England has been harder for our family than we thought. Of course, there is lots of good too - new friends, great experiences traveling, a world-class faculty for Robert to study under etc… But we’ve also all had days when we just wanted to go back home, days (at least for me) made more difficult by the realization that we are exactly where God wants us so going home really isn’t an option. There are just days when the seperation from family seems harder and longer, times when you wish you could be with family members and friends who are celebrating retirements or worrying over illnesses. Times when we really miss everything we gave up when we left California behind, times when we wonder just how much more sacrificing we will have to do to see this through.

I don’t write this to make it sound as though we spend every day down in the dumps, because we don’t. But just to be honest and admit there are days we struggle and it doesn’t feel like home. I think that sometimes just reading a blog full of funny anecdotes or day trips or complaints about the weather maybe misses part of the experience this has been for us. Sometimes when I get bummed about stuff, I have a tendency to think that the grass is greener in my friend’s yard - they don’t ever seem to have problems. But then maybe we just don’t like to admit when we do. So I’m doing my part and admitting - there are some days I’d really like to be back in California in the heat.

Now nobody back home worry about us, just if you think about it, pray for us - because we really miss you all

Durham Miner’s Gala

Historically, much of the northeast of England was full of little coal mining villages and the last of the pits were closed (in UK terms, made “redundant”) about 20 years ago. If you’re interested at all, the movie Brassed Off is a good look at what happened when all the pits started closing. The movie revolves around one pit and their local band (colliery band). Well - a couple weekends ago, we felt like we got to see a little bit of Brassed Off in person.

We went to the Durham Miner’s Gala - basically a huge one-day fair and parade put on in honor of all the Miner’s. It was pretty amazing and much bigger than we expected. The parade was basically just a procession of old colliery bands/village bands led by colorful banners denoting which pit or village they came from. Since the pits closed 20 years ago, there aren’t too many people left who actually worked in them, but we did see some older men (prob 70’s) marching with their helmets with lights on them, so they must have been miners back in the day. One of the funniest things about the parade was how casual it was - there were huge gaps between bands and people were walking all over the street before/during/after each band went by.

It was pretty windy and occasionally rainy, so most of the banners we got shots of looked like this.

We did manage a couple of good ones though, and we were impressed with how big, colorful and ornate each banner was.

And this one.

Of course for the kids, the fair was the big selling point. Huge bouncy slides, teacups, pirate swords, icecream. What’s not to love?

Kaia’s so dizzy after the teacups, she can’t see straight. Or at all.

Argh! It’s Captain Cade!

Sharing? I never agreed to no sharin’!

Did I mention you could join the Socialist Party too? According to my friend Tatiana, this is the UK’s (Worlds?) biggest socialist festival. Not something you see everyday in America.

A Blah July

July has not been Durham’s best month. Unless of course, you prefer rain, clouds and temperatures in the 50’s and 60’s to well, summer. With the exception of a couple days, it’s been grey, rainy, cold, and blech. Makes you think, at least for England, global warming might not be so bad after all (joke! no one kill me please). But, it has made me miss home just a wee bit more. It just doesn’t seem like summer here. For all of you lucky folk in southern California - think February. That’d be about what we are experiencing here.

In fairness to Durham, I’ve heard that last summer was much worse. But seriously, can you really call it summer if it’s much worse than this?

Politically Incorrect?

So, I’m not sure how politically correct it is to celebrate the independence of your country IN the country you declared your independence from, but that’s exactly what we did on the 4th. Here’s the cake I made for the big event.

Here’s cake #2 - a perfect example of what happens when you feed your kids raspberries before figuring out if you have enough.

We had a fajita buffet. You know, celebrating America’s independence in Britain with Mexican food. We wanted it to be very multicultural. Here’s my man and the grill (old fashioned charcoal variety. I think he misses his Beefmaster).

My friend Heather painted the kids faces. Like superheros and animals etc.. I told you we were going for multicultural.

Because if this doesn’t say “Happy Birthday America,” I don’t know what does.

Or maybe this.

We did have a bit of tradition - sparklers! This does take a bit of planning since you can only get them around Bonfire Night which is in November, so props to Heather.

We wanted to keep the littlest ones alive, which is why there are no pictures of them with the sparklers. That’s why the only pics of Kaia are with her safely stowed away on the trampoline. Oh- and the reason it;s still light out is that it doesn’t get dark around here until around 10pm, so they had to play with sparklers in the light. And yes, yes, there were grownups here too. But pictures of grownups are boring. You’ll have to go to Facebook for those. But just to prove to those of you who weren’t here how fun it was, we leave you with a picture of the newest member of the expat community here …. Jonah. Just look at his expression and how excited he is.

In all seriousness, we did have a great time. We even ran through the pledge, the national anthem and any other America song we could think of for the lone Brit in attendance. She at least humored us

But you will have to go to facebook for the grownup pics…

Why?

Robert and I first learned the torture power of the “Why?” question when we were several years from being parents ourselves. We were remodeling the home we had recently bought when a friend stopped by to visit, bringing along her 3 or 4 year old twin boys. The place was a disaster - seriously looked as though it had been bombed, concrete subfloors, holes in the walls, not a home yet at all. Robert was trying to patch a gazillion nail holes in the walls of what would become our great room, when the boys decided to start with the questions.

“Why are you doing that?” Because we have to patch the holes before we can paint.

“Why are there holes?” Because the people who put up the redwood paneling got happy with the nail gun (seriously happy too - I might add).

“Why did you take the paneling off?” Because it was sooooo 1970’s.

“Why did they put the paneling up?”

It went on and on and on. Robert decided his best defense was to just pretend like he hadn’t heard their 20th “why” question. He worked in silence for a few minutes and figured that it was “safe” to turn around, that the boys had given up and moved on. He was wrong. Both boys were staring up at him and as soon as he turned around….”Why?”

All that to say, Kaia has entered the “why” stage. All I’ve heard the past couple days is “Why?” and she can go on and on and on and on and on .. Well, you get the picture.

Surprise!

So you know how we went to Scarborough a couple weekends ago? Our buddies, Dave and Mindy (and let’s be honest, they are really more like family) kept Cade and Kaia so Robert and I could get away? Well, I arrived home to see one of Cade’s buddies, Elam, peering out the window. I kinda thought it was weird, but figured that maybe he and Silas had come over to play. Well, when I walked through the door I heard “SURPRISE!” See, my sweet hubby and our good buddies decided to throw me a surprise birthday party - and believe me, they got me!

I just have to say - Dave and Mindy worked so hard - not only keeping our children alive AND happy, but getting ready for this party as well! It rained (hey- it’s England) so they had to BBQ in the rain, but all was well. Burgers, chocolate chip cookie cake, bunco - what’s not to love? Thanks guys!

Oh- and for the record, Robert did really well keeping me in the dark. We had even stopped at Tesco on our way back into town for some pizzas so we would have something to fix the kids for dinner …

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Scarborough Fair

Since our wedding anniversary was last month (15 years!!!), our friends offered to keep our munchkins overnight and let Robert and I get away for a bit on our own - our first night away from the kids together since April of last year! We decided to go to Scarborough on the Yorkshire coast. Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme anyone?

That’s a view of the castle keep overlooking the North Sea. Amazingly beautiful and sunny the evening we arrived! Unfortunately, the next morning was of the greyer sort, but we still had a great time exploring the town and seeing the castle.

Heading up the cobblestone path in the Barbican to the keep. (The proof I was really there pic).

Looking down the Barbican towards the North Bay of Scarborough (the quieter, more peaceful side) Here’s Robert’s proof he was really there pic too.

But perhaps the most interesting aspect of Scarborough (at least for the Americans) was the south bay - more of the coney island type atmosphere. The woman who checked us into our bed and breakfast told us it had traditional seaside amusements “games, rides, and donkeys” What? Donkeys? Who’s ever heard of donkeys at the beach? Well, after much consultation with British friends this weekend, we’ve learned that yes, donkey rides at the beach ( and as you’ll see they are like the Shetland ponies of donkeys) are a traditional British seaside thing … Who knew?

What’s Kaia up to?

Well, quite literally she’s up a tree. She has turned out to be quite the climber, and this often creates more havoc in our lives! She can climb onto her brother’s top bunk (not good), uses all sorts of furniture to climb on and reach things we’ve put out of reach (not good), and now, climbs trees. These shots were taken in our back garden and fortunately the tree in question isn’t so tall And yes, she’s barefooted. But hey - she’s Californian!

And in case you’re wondering, her dad took these photos. I was inside, oblivious. I mean really, what responsible parent lets their 2 year old climb trees? and barefooted? Sheesh

Biker Cade

A few months ago, Cade was given a 2 wheeler bike by a neighbor who had gotten an upgrade. It had been cold and rainy for so long, that the bike had sat in our garage for quite a while. But with the advent of spring/summer, and our move to a more “bike friendly” neighborhood, we got the bike out, sent it to the shop for a tune-up and new tire, and Robert taught Cade how to ride.

He caught on pretty quickly and, with the encouragement from a couple of kids on the street, was riding up and down in no time.

I told him that he was doing really well. His response : “Well, it’s pretty good for a beginner, but not so good for a professional!”

And they call it puppy love …

She’s 6 years old, has long blond hair, her name is India and I think she’s officially become Cade’s first *crush*. And he is hers as well. Her mom and I have suspected as much for a while now, but today, it was really apparent. Every couple of weeks, a group of local homeschoolers meet up at a local indoor play area for the afternoon, and today was one of those days. India and her mom and brothers showed up about an hour after we got there, and Cade immediately called her over to him. What happened next was really cute/scary/funny all at the same time. Cade was riding a scooter and he and India proceeded to take a couple slow laps around the place (it’s a pretty big place), talking all the while. No other kids around - just the two of them. Then they sat down on a bench for a while and talked some more. Then they got up and made another lap around the place and ended up sitting on the sofa by the ping-pong table and chatting a bit more. This went on for about 10 minutes and India’s mom and I watched and laughed and talked about how cute they were.

I told Robert about it on the way home and then we slyly asked Cade at dinner who he played with and who he had the most fun with today. Top of the list? You guessed it - India

Meet My Fridge…

Meet my refrigerator. That’s it, under the counter on the right. It’s twin on the left is my freezer. Yep, I’m serious. In our old house, we had a bigger refrigerator, although still small by US standards, but I still had to go grocery shopping 2x a week because I had to be able to carry everything home with me. Now I’m shopping with a car, but I can’t store more than 3-4 days worth of food so I’m still shopping 2x a week. Oh well, you definitely learn creative packing skills

Taking Advantage

We had more beautiful weather this weekend, after a couple of really rainy days this past week. We had some friends in town Friday/Saturday (Vince - an old friend from Robert’s MBA/consulting days and his new wife Stacy) so we walked into the city center up to the Cathedral and had a look around. Cade spent most of the morning/early afternoon at a Sports Day that our church put on. After we picked him up, we all had a late lunch at a pub on the riverside under the shadow of the castle and the cathedral.

Our church had a BBQ after the service today complete with bouncy castle and good friends. But one picnic isn’t enough for us - oh no. We headed to a second picnic after that. A bunch of friends got together at a park for a little football game (UK style). Lots more fun and by the time we made it home, we really felt like we had taken advantage of the great weather. Here’s hopin’ that it lasts!

How Hot Can It Be?

One of our greatest sadnessess here in England has been the lack of mexican food. Well, Old El Paso has a line of stuff here, but I never bought that stuff at home either! So, it’s been learning how to make the stuff from scratch for me. But, lately I’ve been to lazy to make my own salsa, so I’ve been buying it. I always buy the stuff marked “Hot” - and actually the stuff from Sainsbury’s was labeled “Scorching”. But seriously, how hot can it be when your 2 year old eats the stuff, without chips, like soup?

A Walk to Town

Yesterday was absolutely beautiful here in Durham! We were pretty much tired of unpacking/organizing etc … so we decided to walk into the center of town and have a picnic. We found a path through the countryside to town that was much shorter than walking on the streets and much more beautiful. Happily, it’s only 1 1/2 miles to the City Centre from our new house (our old place was a bit closer, but still probably over a mile) and the walk passes by a farm where we got to see the new spring lambs. The kids loved that! We ended up having a picnic on the Palace Green (with lots of other people who had the same idea) and then walked through the international market in the square.

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We’re in … Connected … New Beds…

Well after a long week and a half of feeling isolated from the world (in which time a very good friend tried to call me with some fabulous news only to find that our internet phone was down!), we have internet! Yeehaw! What did we do without it? I was on my way to the local branch library to check email when my family tracked me down with the great news that our internet was up.

Overall, our move went great. We had GREAT help last weekend - so a big THANK YOU to Dave, Mindy, Jonathon, Tatiana, John, Christin, Aaron and Lucy for being our pack mules The inside of the house was still being painted the first part of this week - but it’s finally all done (and dry!) and we are slowly clearing away the boxes and settling in. Cade has already found some kids to play with and can’t be bothered to hang around with us

And we all have new beds (well, not *new* beds, but I suppose new experiences in sleeping). Kaia has ditched her crib for good and is now sleeping in a double bed, and as long as she has some stuffed animal company, she’s sleeping like a champ. Cade is proudly sleeping in the top bunk of his bunkbeds and using the bottom bunk as a fort, but it’s Robert and I who got the biggest surprise of all.

We knew that coming over here, most beds were doubles - no queens and certainly no kings. Our first house had double beds that certainly were a bit small after years of sleeping in a queen. Definitely no room for any kids to snuggle up as well. But our bed here is bigger. I don’t think it’s the same size as our queen from California, but our duvet definitely doesn’t fit the same, and the other night Cade crawled in with us and Robert was completely unaware. It’s downright roomy! A very pleasant surprise…